You've got a friend in...these guys

Besides a start, a middle and an end, what does every film have? That’s right – a good guy. A hero. And what does every hero need? No, not a six pack (although it certainly helped Batman), a good hero needs a confidant, a teacher…a sage.

This isn’t exclusive to cinematic heroes, but let’s face it – I could talk to you forever about the sages of my own life, but I doubt you’d be half as interested seeing as you’ve never met them, so I thought you might be more interested – or at least be more able to understand my point – if I broke it down for you by referencing a face or two you’re more familiar with.

So how do the men behind the men behind the masks fair when it comes to ‘the crunch’? How do they stack up when they’re looking down the barrel of the bad guy’s badass gun? Well just in case you were on the look out for your own personal advisor, here’s a quick “who’s who” of we think are the top teachers and smartest sages from recent cinema…

• Sean (Good Will Hunting) – a big ol' beard with a heart to match. This guy’s worth his weight in gold in the confidant ranks. He’s obviously lived a life before now – seeing the Sox win, making it through ‘Nam etc. – so he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty (or to put them around your neck if you start trash-talking his paintings), but when you get him one on one, Sean would be the ideal drinking partner. Wise, witty and wuvable, Sean is top of the sage class – 10/10

• Mick (Rocky) – gruff, gristled and a total straight-talker. Let’s face it – this guy’s pretty much immortal. Burgess Meredith’s ‘Mick’ is one of the old school confidants and he’s not going anywhere any time fast. His downfall could be his quick temper – he’s pretty quick to taunt, as we saw in Rocky 2 – but this guy gives it to you straight so you better leave your sensitive feelings at ring side. That aside, when it comes to the crunch – he’s got your back, and he’s not shy of a trick (or a training montge) or two – a strong 9/10

• Tyler Durden (Fight Club) – OK, so he’s a bit of a mind-fuck, but if you need advice, he’s pretty good at getting your attention and getting his point across. Plus – he’s one cool son of a bitch, so it’s a bit different from getting wardrobe advice from your auntie Maud. Basically, if you want a cool new drinking partner, and you don’t mind people who come on a bit strong, then (next time your apartment gets blown up) give Tyler a call – 8/10

• Mr. Keating (Dead Poets Society) – o’ captain, my captain. If you’re after literary inspiration, this old-school, faux Etonian brings his literary wisdom to the party. Need a motivational quote? Keating’s your man.  A girl needs a-wooing? Look no further. The only blight on his resume is that the last guy he helped ended up blowing his brains out while sat in his father’s study, so while he talks a good game, you might want to think through some of his wordy pearls of wisdom – 7/10

• Alfred (Batman) – with a proven track record of being one of the greats, this guy knows his stuff. If you need to formulate a winning plan, or renovate a mansion, then there’s none finer. He’s also a dab hand when it comes to knocking up a top-notch breakfast. But we’re not sure we’d totally trust him to give us all our messages, and if you can’t trust your confidant, then the whole game’s up! Sorry Alfie – you need to get back into our good books – 6/10