3D or not 3D, is that the question?

Watching movies in 3D at the cinema is bloody annoying - FACT. It’s bad enough that I have to pay extra to put huge, (what I am 99.999% sure are) used glasses on to watch something that I can see better without but this pile of crap is what it is being touted as the future of cinema. Are you kidding me? If I wanted something jumping out of the screen at me, distorting my vision and pissing me off, I would just stare at Alan Hansen’s forehead on Match of the Day – for free! (Don’t tell anyone I haven’t paid my TV licence).

The only proper use for 3D technology

Ok ok, I know I have just gone on a rant there but when you think about it realistically, 3D is about as useful as lipstick on a cow. 3D is meant to enhance the experience of a movie but if anything, all it ends up doing is distorting your vision and leaving you with a headache. Let’s face it, the only movies that have ever been remotely good in 3D have been animated or Avatar. The Pocahontas stealing movie aside, the imagery in 3D was absolutely to die for. It really did bring the scenery to life and totally captivated me (a fact I am not ashamed to admit as it allowed me to ignore my then girlfriend’s annoying narration of the movie). But the reason that this worked is because it was computer generated. UP in 3D literally brought a tear to my eye but again, that might have had something to do with the plot of the movie rather than it being brought to life in 3D.

The key to success there was the fact that it was animated. To get a 3D movie from animation, all you need to do is get really fancy on a computer. To render live films into 3D, you need to buy big-ass, expensive cameras. But fear not humble 3D lovers, Hollywood will continue to flog that dead horse until they can charge you more over something just as useless. When deciding whether or not a film should be shot in 2D or 3D, I’d encourage the director to use some common sense. If Christopher Nolan refuses to shoot his movies in 3D, that should tell you everything you need to know about it (check out this article from the good people at Tech Radar). Humans generally see in 3D without the distorted vision or throbbing headache anyway, so why pay for the discomfort?

The world is watching...you!

Be honest - who hasn’t felt like they’re the star of their own ‘Truman Show’?

Whether it be the result of a series of déjà-vu’s or the hope that there’s gotta be something out there (that’s actually the reason why we haven’t gone out and conquered the world…yet), or maybe it’s just the fact that we’re all a little chemically imbalanced…we’ve all had the suspicion that we’re the main character in an unseen play that’s evolving around us, and us alone…

image taken from this here website

Whether we are or not, who knows…that’s not for me to say…but Jim Carrey’s ‘Truman’ should be held up as an icon – an icon of the brave and the adventurous…not because he lived his life in (sickeningly) idyllic mediocrity, but because he fought it. Sure it took him a good 30 years to realise that there might be more out there, but realise it he did!

And so the question begs; how many of us have realised that we aren’t where we want to be? A handful, maybe. But how many of those few, have had the brass cahoneys to actually do something about it? Fewer still. And yet through those dwindling figures, Truman’s one of them. Are you? Hhmmm, worth thinking about, isn’t it…

And that’s why Truman should be up there with the very best of us…because he inspires the need to change things up – to challenge, rebel and explore. He inspires us to the art of spontaneity and how even just a pinch of the ‘out of the ordinary’ can invigorate and inspire us to break out from the corporate norm…

So I challenge you to do the same: To look at things differently – honestly – and see whether there’s anything you can do to be even just a bit more adventurous…and I’ll do the same…and then I’ll meet you Fiji…deal?

"Oh, and in case I don't see ya - good afternoon, good evening and good night..." 

New Spiderman movie looks… alright!

Hold on a minute, The Amazing Spiderman trailer is … dare I say it… alright, I will. It doesn’t suck. In fact I might go and watch it. When I heard that there was going to be a reboot of the Spiderman franchise, I tore my robes, smeared ashes all over my body, looked to the heavens and cried “Why God, why? Damn you Hollywood. Damn you straight to hell.” But having seen the trailer, I feel like I owe Marc Webb an apology. I’m sorry dude, after all, you directed 500 Days of Summer. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. It’s just that I mistrust Hollywood so much. Here is how I imagine the meeting about creating this movie went in my head:

Marc Webb: I’ve just seen a really great script from James Vanderbilt, Alvin Sargent and Steve Kloves about the Spiderman reboot. I’ve got some great ideas to bring to the table

Hollywood fat-cat: Er, who are you again?

Marc Webb: Marc Webb. I’ve directed lots of music videos and also 500 Days of Summer

Hollywood fat-cat: Hold on, your name is Webb and you want to direct a movie about a spider-man. Coincidence alert!! You are so in, dude!!

But no, I have faith in you. You won’t let me down. Spiderman is my second favourite comic book hero (let’s face it, Batman is just badass). He is just a regular kid with regular problems even after he gets his powers, like acne, bullies and girl troubles. Hell, if he worked in PR instead of journalism, he could be me! I have faith Webb, don’t let me down.

My only beef is that it's being refered to as the ‘untold story’. Oh so we are meant to just forget about the previous three movies? And the fact that Spiderman first appeared in 1962? Come on man, we know the story, accept the fact that it is a reboot and move on.

Trailer here or below for the eagle-eyed viewers 

Image from Marvel Studios

Rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby...

Say what you want – the fact of the matter is that The Boat That Rocked is cool!

Not only is it cool – colossally cool – but it’s also got a monumental soundtrack – The Kinks, The Stones, The Who, The Hollies, The Troggs, The Tremeloes The Beach Boys, not to mention Jeff Beck, Jimi, Otis, Cat, Bowie and even Smokey and a few of his miracles! Wow. Just…wow!

Add it to a mix of Bill Nighy revelling in his devilishly delectable rebellious side that, let’s face it, we all know he explored to the full when he was in his early twenties; Phillip Seymour Hoffman rocking his way through what was, without doubt, the coolest decade in history with his own inimitable dose of  ‘here I am – come and get me’ attitude all the while basking in the freedom of The Count’s ‘give a f**k’ swagger; and finish it off by bringing Nick Frost, Rhys Ifans, Rhys Darby and Chris O’Dowd on board and you’ve got what has to be one of Rich Curtis’ quintessentially cool collections of film rock stars we’ve seen since, well…since 1966!

The boat is at sea in a wash of wild women, wilder nights and, at risk of sounding clichéd – some genuinely rocking tunes! But for me, the music is (dare I say it??) secondary to one other theme which I’ve already paid lip service to, but now let me focus in more detail - the swagger in this film is astounding.

The girls are wilder than the seas of the pacific, The Count couldn’t care less for common conformities, and between them, Rhys Ifans’ Gavin Kavanagh and Nighy’s Quentin have never even contemplated spending a minute doing something that wasn’t for themselves (or for a girl…which I guess could be said to be for themselves anyway…bah, bl**dy semantics!)…it’s a case of “We’re here, you’re there, and let’s have a ****** good time with whatever’s in the middle!”

And I think about this…wouldn’t it be liberating, just once, to live even just a day with the same surly swagger these rock Gods of the airwaves lived their entire lives?? Just imagine that for a day, you said what you thought; you did what you wanted; you went where you wished and didn’t have to think about tomorrow…isn’t that an intoxicating idea??

Well, it is what it is, but whenever I watch these guys rocking out, I get a surge – a need to bask in personal conviction!

So from now on, I think I’ll do just that. I think I’ll drink what I want to drink, I’ll smoke what I want to smoke, I’ll say what I want to say and I’ll shout what I want to shout…and I’ll do it with all the sumptuous style and swagger of nineteensixtysix!